On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
