what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
