Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
