WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
