where am i from again
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
