You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
