two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
