i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
false alarm, still single
Randomize
