a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
