Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I'm both gender and math confused
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
