I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize