he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
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