yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
