found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
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