I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
two words...techno handjob
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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