You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
