I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
