I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
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