I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
