I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
