Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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