Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
