We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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