fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
