You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
