Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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