That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
