There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
