k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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