he puts the penis in happiness.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
