i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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