Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
