I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
