Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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