Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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