It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
