FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
