vagina is talking i cant
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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