I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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