Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
