the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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