i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
