the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
