I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
