That's when you crack a 10am beer
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
