Your face is a jimmy john
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
