You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Welp...herpes.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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