Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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