Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
