Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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