Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
