I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
